26 Good Roasts To Say To Your Brother

Last Updated on February 4, 2024 by Ketan

Feeling tired of losing every argument with your brother?

Does he have an advantage, just because… He is older, younger (or smarter) than you?

That’s enough.

No more defeats anymore. 

For the next round, be prepared with these good roasts to say to your brother and his mean comments or adoption jokes on you


How To Roast Your Brother Clean And Cleverly?

You and your brother have an awesome brotherly relationship. 

You two can’t live without each other and can’t stay away from arguments together. 

There’s a special friendship between brothers, and you fight like old friends.

If you recently argued with him and seek revenge, or you want to roast your brother for no reason, some good roast will do.

Whatever your intention is, for ultimate fun, we have the best roasts to say to your ‘BRO’. 

How To Roast Your Brother

1. “I still remember that day I carried you, and now, I look like your little brother.”

In one roast, you completely destroy your brother’s confidence. 

You comment on his elderly look and the extra pound he gained after all these years.  

2. “When I saw you for the first time, I was so overjoyed, now I’m depressed about it.” 

For the first few years, you cared about your little brother so much. 

And, now as you get to know him, you wish you were the only child in the family. 

READ NEXT: Replies To ‘This Is Why Your Dad Left You’

3. “Have you noticed anything? In every picture before your birth, Mom and Dad have big smiles.”

If you want to make him busy with something, this roast is perfect for your brother.

This gives you some time, as they’re checking if you’re right.

4. “I’m surprised, how does your girlfriend keep up with you? Oh, I forgot, you still have no girlfriend.”

I think it’s good for any girl not to date your brother.

Your brother can’t be controlled by you, how can any girl? He’s just a mad ‘mad’ man. 

To even tease your unmarried elder brother you can also ask ‘When do you plan to get married?’ , only if he can handle it.

5. “I’m sure your friends collectively make fun of you, right?”

Your lil brother is an easy target due to their nonsense talking and weird appearance. 

6. “Whatever, I don’t take you seriously, and I never will.” 

You’re pissed off at your brother who doesn’t stop making fun of your makeup or dress. 

But you know you’re just fine with it as you ignore his comments on you.

how to roast your older brother

7. “Do you know we’re thinking of sending you to a boarding school?” 

Make your younger brother feel embarrassed.

Tell him, you’re the one who has been stopping parents from doing it. 

And, now you want to do the same. 

8. “I don’t care what you have to say, I must say ‘Just shut up’.”

Your lil brother already has wasted enough time or ruined your holiday mood but not anymore. 

This is just a good roast to say to your brother to cool down an argument.

READ NEXT: Best Responses To “How Old Are You?”

9. “You should not forget that I’m your elder brother. Now, respect me.”

“You might be older, but you, too, sometimes behave like you’re the same age.” 

Possibly your brother might roast you back, by saying this.

10. “Next time you mess with me, I will post your original (non-photoshopped) pictures and even tag you.” 

Have your ultimate roast ready to say to your brother, if you are about to lose.

It will make your millennial brother respect you, as he won’t want you to expose him on social media.

11. “I’m glad that we are not twins. I can’t look so horrible.” 

Having twins is a special thing, but it can also be disappointing in other ways. 

If one is ugly, it’s hard to tell which is more. 

12. “Have you registered yourself for the rudest brother competition? You will be number one, I’m damn sure.” 

Not only he, but you can also take part in the same event, who knows you both win a prize. 

READ NEXT: When Parents Ask ‘Where Did You Spent All Money?’

13. “You look just better in pictures only.” 

Tell him to stop fooling their friends and followers on social media. 

You can challenge him to share the picture without any filters at all.

14. “Anytime when I am hopeless, I look to you, not for inspiration. But at least to know that I’ve got something to do with my life.” 

Such a savage roast to make your brother think that he should take a job or work something. 

15. “Finally, after four months, you get time to take a shower?” 

It might look like a lame joke to share. 

But if you share this in front of your brother’s friends, it will have an even greater impact. 

16. “Shut up, you grew up wearing my clothes.” 

In that sense, you’ve done a huge favor on your brother. 

They shouldn’t forget that.

Else, you’re not going to make him forget this ever.

good roasts to say to your brother

17. “Finally, you’re like someone we happily can call one of us.” 

What? Were you ashamed to call him your lil brother? 

Maybe you have a valid reason behind what you just said to your brother.

18. “I wish I could replace you, but nobody will take you back, we already know that.” 

This roast means you see your brother as a defective piece. 

And no one will repair or replace the damaged items. 

19. “I don’t have any problem with you. I know you’re so different from us.” 

You mean to say ‘there’s something wrong with you’ to your brother, but you don’t want to say this.

Also, your brother won’t understand this.  

good roasts to say to your brother

20. “How come everyone in our family is so smart, but you?”

Even at age, your elder brother doesn’t act mature

This roast is serious enough to make him change his mind, if he still acts ignorantly. 

21. “You not only embarrass yourself but the whole family.”

This roast can tell your brother how someone can be so absurd in the same family. 

Sometimes, you doubt if is he really one of you.

22. “No matter what you say, I’m just better than you.”

You just want this argument to be over too soon.

When your brother is about to have the upper hand, this is the ultimate comeback to save the day.

23. “No matter what anyone told you, you just never understand, kiddo.”

A roast to share with your elder brother who never acts his age.

Sometimes, they should act like a big brother.

But they never. So it’s worth to call him ‘a kid’.

24. “Just because you are my brother, I go easy on you.”

Otherwise, you will roast them harder like you do to your friends.

Well, this is also a quick escape to not keeping the argument going on.

25. “Sometimes I really wish that I had a brother like you (Like you have).”

Because his brother is so awesome at everything.

Instead, you got a lazy one who just lay on the couch all day long.

26. “I have realized that you are not going to change.”

And so, it’s better that you don’t even try to do or say anything to him.

You just leave your brother on his own.

This is a smart move, which shows you no longer enjoy fighting with him.

Because you’re just mature than him.

READ NEXT: Funny Replies To Unsolicited Advice


Roast Your Brother Savagely, But Keep It To Joke, Though!

Well, it’s your fight with your brother that makes your relationship interesting. 

You may not miss any chance to fight or tease your big or little bro.

But you know when either of you needs help, only your brother is there for you.

When you two are fighting in a fun mood, use such harmless and good roasts to say to your brother. 

There’s no right in putting each other down and enjoying that. 

After all, you are brothers and there can be no other, but ‘your brother’.


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